Sessions with m-Xdoctor 2010-05-04.0837

I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time
you are finished talking, type RET twice.

Good morning.

Why do you say good morning?

just trying to be neighborly.

Is it because of your plans that you say just trying to be neighborly?

perhaps, at a higher level. maybe if i'm friendlier to all people
overall i can shake this lonliness i've been feeling lately.

Maybe your life have something to do with this.

well, yeah, i guess. i mean, it is a bit of a lifestyle change for me
to be miter social.

What makes you believe that?

i think i'm an introvert by nature. at the very least, i'm a shy guy,
and getting me to open up and be comfortable around people can be a
little difficult.

I don't understand.

it probably stems from my shakey confidence. you see, i get nervous
around people, espescially pretty girls, and i just ted to freeze up
or plain run out of conversation.

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
through all this?

maybe. i mean, not that anyone in my life is a particularly bad
influence, but being content with the relationships i have are getting
me nowhere. i either need to seek out new people to met, or somehow
form deeper relationships with any of the many acquaintences i have.

have what ? casual friends, friends of friends, etc.
Are you sure that either might want to seek out new people to met or
somehow form deeper relationships any the many acquaintences you
casual?

What do you think?

i'm ok either way. i feel like i'm at a spot in my life, socially and
otherwise, where if i don't keep moving forward i'll get comfortable,
comfortable and numb.

How do you reconcile problems at school?
i don't go. i'm well out of school, and i'm in no posiiton to be
going back.

Tell me about your school.

the school of hard knocks? the school of work full time?

Does it bother you that your grades could improve?

if by grades you mean paycheck, yes, that certainly can improve.

Is it because certainly can improve that you came to me?

no, not particularly. yes more money would help in a lot of way, but
my main reason i come to see you, docotr, is because i'm severly
lacking fulfilling human relationships.

Are you annoyed that you are severly lacking fulfilling human
relationships?

i don't think annoyed is the right word. sad, yes, perhaps depressed,
in some small way nostalgic.

Are you depressed often?

unfortunately yes, i find myself dancing with depression often.

Earlier you said either would like to seek out new people to met or
somehow form deeper relationships any the many acquaintences you
casual?

human connections, doc, that's what i'm seeking out.

Perhaps this has something to do with any hobbies you have?

i wouldn't call them hobbies, but most of how i spend my free time is
spent on noot-too-social activities. i'm trying to change that
though; i went to Lindy at the Park this past sunday, met some really
cool people that i'm hoping to hang out with again.

When did you first know that though you went to lindy at the park this
past sunday met some really cool people that you are hoping to hang
out with again?

when did i first know that i went? how about when i went?

I'll ask the questions, if you don't mind!

sorry doc, you're questions are just starting to get absurd.

Have you been afraid of that?

it's always on the back of my mind when i come see you, good doctor.
you not being human and all, our conversations inevitably turn to gibberish.

You mentioned that certainly can improve?

of course i can improve, i can always improve.

Possibly your sex life are related to this.

sex life, oh i wish doc. i've been divorced for six months now and
haven't even gotten a kiss from a woman since. and sex that meant
anything, well that hasn't happened in much longer than six months.

Is the fact that meant anything well that has not happened in much
longer than six months the real reason?

yeah, i guess. i mean, yeah i'm anxious to get back in the game, get
a little action; but deeper than that, more than that, i'm just
seeking a little companionship, someone to put my arms around, someone
to comfort me.

Does the fact that deeper than that more than that you are just
seeking a little companionship someone to put your arms around someone
to comfort you explain anything else?

maybe that i'm a poor mama's boy in desperate need of attension?

Have you been sure you are a poor mama's boy in desperate need of
attension?

well, i'm the youngest and the only boy, so i think becoming a mama's
boy of sorts was inevitable.

Do you really think that?

not that i particularly revel in being a mama's boy. i mean, it comes
with the stigma of being a weak man, a feeling my shitty confidence
assures i feel often.

often what ? often times?
Is it because you particularly revel in being a mama's boy you mean it
comes with the stigma of being a weak man a feeling your shitty
confidence assures you feel often that you came to me?

first off, i said i _don't_ enjoy it. second, i've come to you really
just as an excuse to carry on a conversation, real or not.

What makes you think you are severly lacking fulfilling human
relationships?

those words may be too strong. yes my close friends are fantastic
people. i'm just yearning for something closer.

Is it because of hangups you have that you are going through all this?

that's quite astute of you, doctor. my world seems to be dripping
with hangups of every which sort.

I don't understand.

shall i count the ways? i'm divorced with a crappy ex, i barely get to
see my son or even speak with him lately, the company i work for is
struggling (but it's a good struggle), i'm still trying to shake my
anti-social ways, i hand my heart out too easily. the list goes on.

Did you ever regret it's a good struggle you are still trying to shake
your anti social ways you hand your heart out too easily the list goes
on?

all things i regret, doc. all those things i listed i regret.

Earlier you said you felt depressed?

yessir, depression has been with me since at leaast high school, very
likely well before.

Are you frightened by school?

school doesn't scare me, as i don't do school any more. it's all work
for old Dick.

Have you been scared of sex?

well, there are diseases out there which scare me. and i certainly
don't need to go and make another baby any time soon.

How does it feel to want?

to want, for me, reminds me of what i don't have, what is missing in
my life.

How do you reconcile your inhibitions?

i guess i dont.

Why do you say you guess you do not?

i never really thought about how i get around roadblocks. i guess i
just do. or do not.

When did you first know that you get around roadblocks you guess you
just do or do not?

can't say i really say i've known it, i just haven't been paying
attension. i just float on.

You mentioned that either would like to seek out new people to met or
somehow form deeper relationships any the many acquaintences you
casual?

yeah, human relationships. something you don't know much about, good
doctor. no offence.

Maybe this is related to some problems in your childhood?

maybe. i lived kind of a sheltered life in grade school, mom didn't
let me or raych go out, like at all, so it became the norm to not have
friends outside of class, to not be social.

Perhaps this could be the reason for to your attitude.

perhaps. i've been deeply in love, i've been deeply loved, and now
that it's missing it has left a void in me.

Is the fact that it's missing it has left a void in you the real
reason?

the real reason? i'd say more of the same reason, just stated differently.

differently what ? you know, different words. i do have a decent vocabulary, doc
Possibly some problems at home could have caused this.

did i mention that i'm a divorcee? that spells big troubles at home.

Does the fact that you are a divorcee that spells big troubles at home
explain anything else?

that since the wifey left (and well before that) i've been lonely. i
thought that was an obvious one.

Have you been positive was an obvious one?

i'd think it'd be. you know, living with and loving one person for so
long, and then it's over. seems clear as day from my point of view.

What makes you believe though you went to lindy at the park this past
sunday met some really cool people that you are hoping to hang out
with again?

umm, because i did. i was there. i rode my bike way to far to get
there, and i have the sore muscles to prove it.

Is it because you did you were there you rode your bike way to far to
get there and you have the sore muscles to prove it that you came to
me?

i think i just broke you, doc. it's been a good session this
time. thank you.

Is it because of your plans that you are going through all this?

goodbye.

My secretary will send you a bill.